Post-It Note Shield

If I feel bitterly towards those who condemn me, as it seems to me unjustly, forgetting that if they knew me as I know myself, they would condemn me much more, then I know nothing of Calvary love. 

~Amy Carmichael, If

One day at the hospital, I ducked out of the hailstorm of work day stress, and into the office of one of the chaplains.

“I never leave my house in the morning,” she told me, “without mentally putting on each piece of the armor of God.”

The shield of faith, the sword of the spirit, the helmet of salvation, etc.

I thought it was a great plan and I began to do it myself.  At 4am, it helps to be conscious of the things I might need in the day ahead: faith, peace, the Word of God, righteousness.

A few days after starting this, a perfect storm of darts were clattering against my shield of faith.  I reminded myself of the armor, but I was beginning to feel dizzy.

Then, the ever present Post-it note pad in my left front scrub pocket rescued me.

I pulled the pad out of my pocket, from it’s slot next to my phone, and peeled off a pale yellow post-it note. I stuck it beneath my patient list paper, where it would be hidden from sight.  As soon as my sense of peace was threatened by something–ANYTHING–I wrote it down on the shield. (With bad handwriting, over-writing and code words to make it unintelligible.)

I tried to identify the darts hitting me, and the conclusion was chilling.  A huge percentage of the “problems” I frantically scratched on my paper shield were internal!

• My selfishness: that’s why that comment bothered me.
• My jealousy: that’s why I was disappointed I didn’t get acknowledged.
• My pride: that’s why I felt humiliated.
• My malice: I thought it would serve them right.

Oh, if I got what would “serve me right”!

Dear me!  No wonder Paul in the Bible says “we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world”!  It’s not the flesh and blood person in front of me, usually…it’s the fight of the enemy for our souls, wanting us all to respond with jealousy, anger, malice, gossip.

But lest I sound gloomy, let me say: praise God.  The shield of faith works.  Having 25 dart marks a day on my shield at least means it’s in use.  And once it hits the post-it note, the rule is, I can’t think about it again.

If the shield of faith deflects it, I know that God is real, and that He can deal with it and that He is with me.  Now.  In this hallway, in this room. (When I struggle, I always look up for the lights.)

This is easier said than done, sometimes, because my mind is often as stable as a cumulonimbus cloud before it forms a tornado.

But, then I remember: my mind is protected too, by the blood of Jesus, because this morning I put on the helmet of His salvation.  If I decide to give something to God, by the power of that blood, I can give it.

That’s why I say, Praise God!