“If, on the outside chance I get beheaded when I travel to the Middle East, and my body is never recovered, just put a paving stone here in my memory.”
Seven friends and I were walking through the Wellfield Botanical Gardens of Elkhart the other night (one of the most beautiful places in the world, by the way), and I had just stepped across the memory walk. The memory walk, hidden among the bridges and flowers and spooky evergreen shrubs, is a placid tiled reminder that we will not always be here, no matter what we do.
“I’m beginning to hope you do die, just so we can follow all your interesting instructions,” said my friend, before bursting into laughter. She’s the one who asked me to leave her my black Labradoodle in my will.
(I don’t have a black Labradoodle, but she’s hoping I get one before I die so I can leave it to her. Just to make her feel better, I have to say that the other day I told one of the heart surgeons I work for that just to be on the safe side, I am making practical funeral arrangements before I go to the middle East. He instantly said, “Can I have your bike?” before bursting into laughter, just as she did.)
Besides the fun and laughter we get from our occasional sarcastic conversations, I have to give my friends some slack: they hang out with a geeky writer without protest. Usually. Below, you see my three beautiful friends, Sarah, Velinda, and Kendra. I won’t say which one wants my labradoodle. I’m that person on the right with the backpack and nerdy glasses.
I love my friends. I love all the things we did together just this week: flying down the Sherman Street bridge on our bikes, posing under trellises at the garden, sharing chewy bread free from our waitress at Cappy’s, Saturday morning coffee and computer projects at the Electric Brew of Elkhart. I love discussing struggles and life issues and praying for each other, and discussing how we live out our Christian beliefs.
I think of friends as a bright part of life, a thing that makes life better. Friends are part of the light in my life. They are part of the sunshine of summer, part of the firelight of winter, part of the gold of fall and the pale yellow of spring.
But sometimes I forget what life would be like without them. What kind of people would we be if we had no friends? I looked around the Electric Brew, and saw two pleasant-looking ladies, chatting, finishing up their drinks.
What would life be like without friends, ladies?
- Mary: “It would be awful. This is my best friend Beth,” gesturing across the table. “We’ve both lost a best friend, but we’ve found each other.”
- Beth: “I haven’t talked with her (Mary) in a couple of weeks, and I feel like I’m losing my mind, and that I’m scattered… We just sit here and talk. She’s the one who can tell me what to do. She’s not judgmental.”
Do men feel the same way, I wonder? Out on the sidewalk table, I find an older man and a younger man sitting together chatting.
What would life be like without friends?
- Rob, the older man with the bill cap said, “I don’t think life would be life. We’re not here to be alone. Life is totally about relationships.”
- Greg, the younger man, said, “I’ve been at a place where I had no friends, and it’s…lonely….and you realize that you need people, especially the right people.”
Is it just because I’m catching these people at the right time, when they’re sitting, chatting with friends? I’ll ask the barista behind the counter.
What would life be like without friends?
- Arlette: “Oh my goodness….Sadness! I don’t have a lot of friends, but my best friend is my husband. It would be so sad if I didn’t have him. But I also think we can find peace in Jesus…if he’s the only friend you would have, he’s still all you need.”
Is it just that I’m at a coffee shop that I’m getting all these profound thoughts? What about you?
Leave a comment here on my blog with your own answer to the question, What would life be like without friends? (It’s not hard to sign in to leave a comment….[UPDATE: My dear friend who wants my labradoodle said she found it difficult. That might just be her? But I apologize and will look into it.])
So you can join in on the coffee shop experience, I’ll choose two responses to win a $10 Starbucks card: one at random, and also the one that I like the best. (Starbucks, so winners in any state can get their drink.) I will announce the two winners on Thursday, June 18; all entries will be valid through Wednesday.
I looked across the table at the Electric Brew and told my friend (the one who wants my labradoodle, of course), that I was going to give away Starbucks dollars. How does that sound? I asked.
“Well, I think I want a $25 card,” she said.
I know whose entry I shall definitely NOT pick!
So, go ahead:
What would life be like without friends?
27 thoughts on “Friends+Coffee+A Survey=The Perfect Morning”
And may you not feel friendless in the Middle East! Go with God and all your friends here will be cheering for you !
Thanks!
I cannot even begin to imagine how sad… and lonely… and dull… life would be without friends. I agree with Rob… would it be life? I also agree with the barista… Jesus is the only friend you need. No, I don’t like the thought of life without any friends. And I will thank God, right now, for how rich he has made me… I have SO MANY wonderful friends! Katrina, thanks for being one of my dear friends. And, as much as I’d love for _ _ _ _ _ to have your labradoodle… I’m praying you come back with some stores to tell!! 🙂
Angie, maybe you can buy her a labradoodle. She won’t even mind if I’m gone if she has that! 🙂 Thanks for being a great friend!
Life without friends would be so very lonely! I really can’t imagine life without at least one good friend! They help mold who we are, buoy us up in our moments of dispair,and listen us out whether we make sense or not!! You are such an encouragement to me! If I’m feeling blue or lonely I read on your blog and your writings buoy me up! I thought maybe I have a chance at the random drawing. I don’t have anything wordy enough that would WOW! You to pick my answer! 🙂 but would love to win the Starbucks gift card! And take my best friend out(away from his hectic schedule) sip caramel macchiatos and talk ! Ah. …
So encouraging to know that you are encouraged by my blog at times. Thanks for sharing Anita!
A real friend is one who remains warm and close when the whole world appears cold and distant. One who sees potential when there isn’t any, and one who chooses to multiply the joys, divide the sorrows, subtract the past and add to tomorrow. True friend = 1 Corinthians 13 (Some really good ideas in your post and in the comments so far. And please do be careful in the Middle East!)
Thanks Sylvia. And, hey, you won the random gift card! Email me your address and I’ll get it your way!
Wow! Thank-you, Katrina. I feel honored to be a random pick. 🙂
So in answer to your question, life without friends would mean no one to help solve/celebrate the equations of life with.
I really want the gift card so I am trying to figure out if it is easier to be chosen at random or say something you will think is the best. =) I could go down this line…. Friends are the flip to the flop. Peanut to the butter. Icing on the cupcake. Or I could just say I would be a very sad and lonely person with no friends!! Or I could say “I am very glad to be your friend, and I really think you should try really hard to not get beheaded in the Middle East… but, please when you do your will, I want your favorite coffee mug and any extra coffee you have.” Rosie
Great comparisons, Rosie… I will put my coffee in my will for you! I just wish you could join me for some now while we’re both still here!
Friends are the salt and pepper, without which potatoes would be unbearable. Friends are the zing in cream cheese-filled jalapenos, taking them from nice to wow! Friends are the Seven Spices, the Biryani Seasoning, and Falafel spice which transform ordinary rice and chickpeas into something amazing. Life can probably be lived without seasonings, but oh how boring the kitchen.
And, I might add, will you go with me to the Middle Eastern restaurant when you’re here?
Oh I’d love to! I don’t have much on my agenda while I’m out there, so pick your day. 🙂
Did your mom tell you we went to a Middle Eastern restaurant and she loved the Falafel? Hoping to see you soon, and I love this comparison to the kitchen!
My very first thought was, “No friends, no life!” But then I read the comment about Jesus being all we need and I believe that is true. Therefore, (KJV) I am changing my thought to, “Without friends life would be colorless and boring. My friends are gifts from God! They light up my life!”
Thanks for being a great friend and mentor to me, Naomi!
I cannot imagine life without friends…empty, sad, lonely
I love how God brings friends for “seasons” in our lives… I have lived in other communities and miss those friends profoundly, but now I have a new set of friends. You never really “lose” real friends. You just add to them, and your circle grows larger and your heart feels like it could burst with the fullness of it all. And you wait in anticiaption for grand reunions with those old friends, because you can pick upright where you left off.
I’m glad I’m one of your thousands of friends Velinda! I always think of you as someone who has an unending circle!
I recently lost two childhood friends. There is nothing that makes you think more about life and the point of living than the sting of death. I believe that relationships are the most important thing in this life; with God, with family, and with friends. Without relationships/friendships, life would be meaningless, truly.
Sarah
sarahesh.com
Sarah, I chose your entry as one of my favorites! Please send me your mailing address at Katrina@500-words.com, and I’ll get you a Starbucks card!
Very sorry to hear about your loss, Sarah.
Well, I would have a dog, but no coffee.
Well, I have to admit, you are a wonderful friend! (Even if I’m relieved you didn’t win the drawing! Just kidding.)
Life without friends…where would all the ‘fun’ memories come from? Earlier today I saw that Prince William, Prince George and the Dutchess of Cambridge showed up at the Trooping of the Colour, and I thought, “We went a few years too early!” Ok, so it’s been 11 years…what?!? Definitely some of the best memories I have!
Those were undoubtedly good times…I remember being so tired I could hardly move, but so excited to go see the Queen…