I run the risk of writing a blabbering, disjointed blog that makes no sense today. I am quite overcome by the genius and love of God.
Backing up, I wouldn’t even be awake enough to praise God at 5:51 on a Sunday morning were it not that I was awakened about an hour ago by strange noises.
Could someone be walking through my house? was my go-to impression in my sleepy state.
On the odd chance that the noise was from outside the house and that I could identify it in the eight foot slice of cement, weeds, and chain link fence between me and the next house, I peaked through a slit in my curtains. Not before turning on my lamp of course, which stupidly rendered me completely visible to whoever might be out there.
Sure enough: “whoever” was out there. Just 8 feet from my, someone was standing on a chair in the dark, prying at the window to my neighbor’s house. Again, in my sleepy state, I first thought, Our neighborhood is being broken into! Probably someone is at one of my windows too!
After a minute of reflection and waking up, as I continued to stand silhouetted in the slit between my curtains, I came to grips with the fact that this was a young girl balancing on the chair, probably the girl who lives in the house. At this point, I wisely went to my lamp, and turned it off, so I could continue to see, unseen. But I was no longer worried. Perhaps she was out on a forbidden night escapade, or maybe had just forgotten her key. After a few more moments of battling with the fan in the window, she tumbled inside and I went back to bed.
But I could not sleep!
There are moments when the glory of God comes so close, that it’s hard to breathe. There are moments when you ask God for something impossible, and he says, “That’s not impossible,” and life is never the same. There are moments of looking back on those triumphs and moments of looking forward, knowing God can do the same thing again.
Unfortunately, I can’t at this moment put into words exactly what I mean…. I can’t give you a chronological narrative like I could tell you about the noises outside my window.
I can tell you that I went to Oasis Chorale last night and heard them singing (“Gott ist die Liebe”) “I feel the burden of pain and sadness, I lay in bondage, could not get free….And now I sing again, God is so loving, God is so loving, He loves us all,” and that I can’t stop singing those words this morning, knowing that was me.
I can tell you that Thursday I had a very strong impression of a promise of God, so strong that I told three people about it.
I can tell you that Friday I walked through a fog and wanted to doubt God, but I tried to hang on.
I can tell you that yesterday I was praying and pacing and reciting Scripture to myself because I was so afraid.
I can tell you I went to a wedding, and the sermon spoke directly into my thoughts. (Yes, a wedding sermon, and yes, I’m single and I was deeply touched and inspired!)
But I can’t tell you much that makes sense. Maybe someday, sometime. Maybe a decade from now. God does His own thing, especially when it comes to time.
I only know it only takes once to have your opinions of what is impossible forever changed by the power of God. I only know that my own heart was impossible, but God didn’t agree. I only know that Jesus Christ was bruised for my iniquities, that the abuse to bring my peace fell on Him, and that when He said, “It is Finished”, He meant exactly what he said.
“Would we in our own strength confide, our striving would be losing!”
Come to Sandy Ridge Mennonite Church this afternoon at 4pm to hear a stunning, artistic testament to the love of God! The chorale is amazing!
Sorry, I tried to link you to the song and failed! But you can see them below: